Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Peeps, I didn't think it was possible. I didn't trust the run of sunny days. But somehow, even though it's only the beginning of March, it would seem that Spring is springing up.

Look, an early violet-y pansy-type flower in my neighbor's yard! Ain't Spring grand?

Or, as we generally call it around these parts, mud season:

Happily, that is NOT my driveway. It's my neighbors' driveway. Amazingly enough, neither our dogs nor our cat traipse through those puddles. That would be Sarah's job.

Oh, invisible readers. I don't know what to tell you. I'm having a blue day, and no amount of sunshine or Buffy is making a dent in my mood. Trust me, I tried. I tried hard. But not even one of my favorite episodes helped (that would be Once More With Feeling, and it's GENIUS, I'm telling you). And I love that one. Love. It.

Ah, well. I was due. I'm managing what needs managing. Laundry is laundered, house is upright, Sarah is clothed and fed and read to and loved, etc etc. I'm just feeling somewhat undermotivated.

I think what kicked it off was a discussion I was reading about caesarian sections. Both Sarah and Jane were born through c-sections, both unplanned, and repeat sections lead to increased risks. If, IF, we were to try for another kid I'd have to have yet another c-section because of Jane's birth (classical section with a vertical incision, which means any and all subsequent births would have to be surgical), and there could easily be complications with a pregnancy just because of the scarring that's already there, never mind the increased likelihood of having another premature baby. And all that just kind of weighed me down a bit. Stuff to deal with, but stuff to deal with later. Maybe even talk to an actual, you know, doctor.

Plus, and this has been a major bummer, Sarah's been crying over Jane when she gets scolded over... whatever. Trivial stuff. We're working on it, and I'm trying to be understanding and all like that but man does it suck. I mean, she's playing a hell of a card to get out of minor jams, you know?

Anyway. Spring! Pretty! Yay.


lizzie said...

I didn't want to stay invisible, I wanted to say, I came by today I read that you were sad and simply you were heard. Positive vibes from across the miles XX

Cindy said...

Also sending positive vibes .... and more sunshine and warmth.

I'm building a labyrinth in my yard. Backbreaking work at this point, but wonderful. It's taken me nearly a dozen years to do this.

Life is like that.

mommatosena said...

Oh Tia, I can feel it through the screen. Sorry that you are getting hit with a whirl of emotions and a 3 yr old that is feeling and acting it all out.

Life is like that. (((((((hugs)))))))

Meredith said...

Sometimes spring can be a brutal time of year. All that hope and life and springiness, and if you feel like crap yourself, you feel like you're insulting someone somehow. Days like this aren't unexpected, but they do really, really suck. And Buffy can only do so much...

Thinking about you.

Tasha said...

I hope the sun and the flowers are able to help even a tiny bit. Big hugs to you.

Karetchko said...

I keep thinking of Jane when I see forget-me-nots.

tia said...

Thanks, everyone. And thanks, lizzie, for becoming visible. It helped, it really did.