Nothing much to report today. And I'm thankful as all hell. Jane had a quiet day, and no changes were made to any of her (ridiculous) vent settings. She actually had quite a good morning, with her saturation numbers solidly in the 90s and even hitting 100 a couple of times. They tried weaning some of those settings a bit, but she wasn't ready for that. And then she had a little bit of a desat about half an hour before I arrived, but came back up to her now-usual place in the 80s to low 90s. But she's tolerating the open suctioning pretty well (something that was completely out of the question yesterday and even last night). I think she may have gained just a tiny bit of ground.
The damned lobe has grown again -- not to the size it was before Sunday, but it's big again. I am choosing not to think about that.
So, we keep waiting. We keep listening.
I was looking at Jane today and feeling her solid belly under my hand, and just enjoying her being there. I hold her feet a lot, as if she were still a new preemie needing that feeling of boundaries. The little foot that once was smaller than my thumb now fills my palm. The solidity of her presence is soothing, despite how tenuous this situation is. For today, that was enough. That it was a day filled with sunshine and a Boston January's version of warmth was a total gift.
Plus I got to rock out to some cheese-tastic 80s tunes during the drive. People, it was damn near a good day.