Thursday, January 28, 2010

Thank You



Dear friends of Jane, my dear friends, Jane's journey has ended. My darling girl died today at 1:40 in the afternoon, six months and six days, to the minute, after she was born. Her lungs simply couldn't do any more. I was able to spend her last four hours with her, taking care of her and telling her, "You are loved. You are loved." Then the machines finally went silent, and she died in my arms.

I thank you all for being part of this with me.

Before I go, I would ask one last favor. If Jane became a part of your life, if her life held meaning for you, I ask that you send a card with just the words "Jane was here" on it. I don't want sympathy cards or condolences, I just want to know that she was HERE, and THERE, wherever you are. It will help to remind me that her brief time was filled with the love of friends and family, the visible and the invisible. That her life was part of your life. That she truly was Our Girl Jane.

My gratitude to you all has no bounds. Thank you.

Tia McCarthy
5 Winter Street
Montpelier, VT 05602

98 comments:

Jenn said...

I am so very, very sorry. There are no words.

Nola said...

You are all loved. I am so sorry.

switters said...

*

Nicola O. said...

Tia, I am so sorry. You have my deepest condolences.

Anonymous said...

oh tia......and tom...... my heart is just breaking for you both. I am so sorry. Jane has touched so many lives in her six months and if that was part of purpose of being here.....then she has fulfilled it ....and then some. Beautiful, sweet Jane.
I am blessed to have been a part of her life, and yours.
love always,
ali smolenski

Cate said...

I am so, so sorry. love to you all.

Anonymous said...

Jane, you are an amazing amount of hope and strength wrapped up in one tiny body and timespan, and I am honored to have gotten to "know" you. Tia and family, much, much peace to you all.

Halley/la maga (TT)

Cat said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Tia, you, Tom and Sarah are an amazing family. I wish you peace in the coming difficult days.

Sheila Peuchaud said...

Jane was here, and will always be missed. Strength to her Awesome Family and all the Awesome Folk who held her tiny hand on this journey.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Traci/Sheera (TT)

Anonymous said...

Tia and Tom, I am so sorry for your sadness. Jane was a beautiful little soul who brought so much love into this world. And she was loved greatly in return, not only by the both of you but by everyone who knew her. I am so honored to have been a part of Jane's life. She and your family will always have a place in my heart.
Sending you hugs and love,
Kristy

Anonymous said...

Jane was here.

Jan Wilson TT

Anonymous said...

Jane was here. She was in our hearts, our minds, and our prayers today and forever as you all are. Peace and Love -- The Rehm Family

Andrea Proulx said...

Oh Tia, I wish I had words.
We're so sorry. Jane IS here. She's got a spot in my heart.

Love & Peace to all of you,
Andrea & Peter

annachorn said...

Tia, Jane was here, for all-too-brief a time. But, she will remain in my heart forever. All love and thoughts to you and Tom.

MiHae Hooper said...

Jane was here.

And we are here to support you, Tom and Sarah.

Love,
MiHae

Anonymous said...

Jane was here. God bless your family.

Anonymous said...

There is love here for you and for your precious family. Jane was here.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here and she has filled our hearts.

Karen said...

Jane was so very much here. I am so sorry, Tia, Tom and Sarah and I thank you for sharing Jane's story with us.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here and always will be. Thank you for sharing this journey with us. You will always have a special angel watching over you and your family. Tia you are a very special woman with the strength of nobody else I know of.

God Bless

Tamie Klein Endow

Anonymous said...

Tia, Tom, and Sara: Thinking of you, wishing you hope in the midst of sorrow, comfort in the midst of pain. Jane was here, and touched the lives, and hearts of many, God bless your family.

Laura Herbert said...

Jane has touched so many people with her amazing spirit and big heart. You and your family are always in our thoughts and prayers. Jane was definitely here.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here...Now she's everywhere. Thank you for sharing her with us.

Erica and Brynn

Shim said...

Dear T,
Your beautiful girl. Our hearts hurt with you. You were some team, you and Jane with this blog, you know. Together you made a lot of us better somehow. Deep love and support in any way we can help. Big hugs and love to our girl Sarah.
Allison

Anonymous said...

Jane was here too.

sarah said...

Tia, Tom, and Sarah,

Jane was definitely here and her memory will remain forever. Thank you for sharing your journey with us all, and for giving us the opportunity to know Jane and learn from her incredible strength and from yours as well.

Anonymous said...

Tom and Tia,

Jane touched my heart from the first time I saw her tiny beautiful face just looking around in her expensive condo in bedspace 28. I was hooked. Always there is a baby that just gets to you. She did. I loved her.
Our girl Jane will be missed... I am fortunate to have had this opportunity and thank you for letting me be a part of her life and yours. She was a fighter! love always, Liza LeCain

Anonymous said...

Jane was here. Thank you so much for sharing her with us; what a gift. With love and hugs…

Anonymous said...

That is a beautiful picture of you and your daughters. The love is palpable.

Jane was here, too.

Sarah (aka TT snownstars)

Anonymous said...

Jane was here too.

You are the best parents she could ever have had.

Heather (a TT lurker)

Meredith said...

Jane was here, in Toronto, with us. My deepest condolences to your whole family. And my love to our girl Jane.

Meredith/canuckmer

Anonymous said...

Tia, Jane has touched so many people in her all-too-brief time with your family. Jane was here. Jane is here in our hearts.

~Kitten from TT

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in Virginia. A beautiful child, gone too soon. In her time here she knew the best of love and she gave love. Your bond will never be broken. She will always be with you.

another Jane

Anonymous said...

Jane was here and always will be with you. -LN

Anonymous said...

Jane was here...powerfully.
With gratitude,
Jan

webmaster said...

I am so sorry. Farewell, sweet Jane.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here.

I will miss her and her wonderful story you told, its highs and lows. Thank you for sharing Jane.

-KLF

Alex L. said...

Jane was here. We felt and were moved by your love and your strength, Tia, Tom, Sarah, and Jane.

Ann Hagman Cardinal said...

Jane was here and she was such a gift.

With love and thoughts,

The Cardinals

Linda in Austin said...

Jane was here, in Texas.
Keeping you all in our hearts...

Anonymous said...

Jane was here. Thank you for sharing her with all of us. I will continue to hold her, and the rest of your family in my heart.

TT starshine

Anonymous said...

Jane was here. She'll always be in my heart, wherever that heart goes. Thank you for sharing her with us, it was brave and strong, and oh so generous of you. We love you, and your family, and our girl Jane.

Love from a transplanted Texan family in Virginia, soon to be in Russia and around the world, carrying Jane's memory with us.

Thryn (TT)

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in Missouri. Her presence, your love for her, your gift of sharing her life with us will remain in my heart and mind forever. I am humbled with how you took us all along on her journey. Love to the three of you, as well as to all of Jane's family and everyone who knew her.

--a TT lurker

Amy Flanagan said...

Jane was here and will be forever in my heart. I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

My heart breaks....Jane was here and I fell in love with her too. I am an "invisible reader" and Tia, Jane was here. Touched my heart and her life reminds me to live here and now...in the moment. A true gift. Thank you.

Bethany (CT)

Stephanie said...

Jane was here and always will be. Thank you for allowing us to share in her life, we are all richer for it.

(oh!s)

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in Toronto. Tia and Tom and Sarah, I am so sorry. Love to you all, and thank you for letting us know Jane.

Dale (TT)

Tasha said...

There are no words. Jane will always have a special place in my heart.

lisahickey said...

Jane was here. Along with her grace and beauty and courage which the two of you shared with the world. Thank you for her beautiful story, and much love and sympathy to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in California.

I am so sorry.

With love,
Catie Bug (TT)

Anonymous said...

jane was here.

with so much love,
shawnie, beazle, & hardie.

Sky Bluesky said...

Jane was here, in Seattle.

Thank you for letting us be a part of her life, and for sharing her story with such warmth and love. May her strength and spirit live on in you and Sarah.

love, Sky, Mrs. B, and Oliver.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in New Jersey. Thank you - for being brave and generous enough to share Jane with us, for showing over and over again what love and courage look like, and for reminding me to appreciate what really matters. The tears keep coming - for you, your family, for Jane - but beyond the sadness for what you must be going through, and all you have already endured, I am so very grateful that I got the chance to know her through you. Jane lives on in the hearts of everyone who knew of her. She is everywhere.
Thank you.

Lorraine/TT's Tallulahb

Anonymous said...

Dear Tia, Tom and Sarah - Jane was SO HERE! She always will be. Thank you for sharing your beautiful, wise, funny, sweet and spicy girl Jane with me. I loved spending time with her and her incredible family and I feel priveleged to have been a part of her short but very meaningful life. I wish I could help take your pain away . . .
Love - Thea

Karetchko said...

Sending love and peace from North Carolina. Thank you, Tia, for keeping us all so well-informed about everything that has happened. Our girl Jane was here.

Jess said...

Jane was here, in Michigan. Thank you so much for sharing her story with us. Peace and love to all of you.

Jessica and Roger (frogsyjane on TT)

Anonymous said...

Jane was definitely here! I just wanted you to know you are truly an inspirational mother, and I do not get serious very often but you are what every mother strives to be. I look up to you. Even with a healthy baby a mother struggles to juggle two children under the age of 4 and you did it with all the trials and tribulations that came your way. Jane was so loved and you never gave up, I think she knew that. From the day you and Sarah showed up at my desk and Sarah said she was going to be a paleontologist, I knew you would be one of my very favorite families. Hold your head up high and be proud that you gave Jane more love than a lot of babies ever receive. I am honored to have known you,Sarah, and Jane. This is a little long, and probably incoherent but that is why I am so rarely serious. I love you guys.

Karen Soohoo

Anonymous said...

If you are interested in donating to the March of Dimes in Jane's memory, a central place to do so has been created. https://www.marchofdimes.com/prematurity/b_new.asp?band_id=58301

Jane was here.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in St. Louis, and will be here, in my heart and many others', for a long, long time. Thank you for sharing her with us, letting us get to know her.

Jane was here; she made a difference. She has affected, and will affect, my thoughts, my actions, my decisions. I'll carry her memory with me wherever I go; so will many, many others. Jane *mattered*.

If I believed in such things, I'd tell you that my little boy, who is in that inevitably better place where Jane is now, is undoubtedly taking care of her, showing her around, sharing his pacifiers. I don't believe in such things ... but it's a lovely thought, and sometimes I indulge.

Wishing you and your family comfort, and love, and peace.

Sandoval/TT

Anonymous said...

Jane was here on Vancouver Island B.C. Her spirit shone through and will continue to shine. I hope the family finds some small comfort in how much she was loved and will be missed.

Liz said...

Jane was here.

Prayers go out to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

An invisible reader, but Jane was here in New Hampshire, too. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing your sweet baby girl with the world.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in Florida, and always will be. Allowing us all to share in your joy and grief took exceptional grace, and we are grateful to have been a part of Jane's short but powerful little life.

Miss Lisa/TT

Maura said...

Remembering Jane: Jane was a bright soul and a spirited baby. She humbled us with her will and determination. She constantly defied her doctors' expectations and we wanted to say: But that's just JANE. She was comforted by her mother Tia, who is the definition of grace, and by her big sister Sarah, who held her small hand in the hospital. Jane took strength from her father Tom, every time he walked in the room. Tom and Tia have been such wonderful parents and advocates for her care, partnering with her medical teams and becoming fluent in their language. Jane's entire extended family: grandparents, aunts, uncles, and young cousins (who read the blog every day) will miss her. And yes, of course. My niece Jane was here.
Love, Maura

Sue said...

Jane was here. Much love to you all...

Sue (zinny TT)

Chelle said...

Jane was here. Sweet, beautiful Jane touched my heart and my life.

Love to you all.

Ocean Springs, Mississippi

{{hugs}}

Anonymous said...

Jane was here! Forever in my heart
Deb Kane

Rita A. said...

God must have needed a beautiful little angel.

Raspberry said...

God may have needed an angel but can make Her own angels. I believe that God is, at it were, weeping big divine tears along with the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

Amen, exactly. Thank you, Raspberry.

Nichol said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I saw this on a blog today and this is my first time here. My prayers are with you and your entire family.

Nicolasa said...

Words cannot begin to express how sad I am for your loss. I found your blog through another blog and am so thankful they sent me here. Thinking of you all. <3

Annie Joyce-Brandt said...

Jane was here!

Anonymous said...

Jane has really mattered to me, Tia, you all have.

Lori/LuLu

Micmacker said...

Jane was here at 10 Winter Street.
Sarah, Barry, and Susannah

Heather @ boy, girl, and a pug said...

Hi, I found your blog through a friend and just wanted to say we are thinking of your and your family. I showed my 4 year old Jane's picture. I had tears in my eyes. When he asked why I was crying I told him it was because that beautiful baby was in heaven. He said, but mama babies aren't supposed to go to Heaven. How true, how true.
Lots of prayers coming your way tonight.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here. In my heart and my family's still. Soo much love to the both of you and love to sweet Sarah.

Lola Faire (TT)

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in my heart and in my thoughts.
Much Love,
Judy Manning Brown

Anonymous said...

Jane was here.

You are a wonderful, amazing family. Jane was lucky to be a part of it, and you were lucky to have her in it.

Truly, my heart just breaks for you. Much love to you all.

Alison (mgrable on TT)

Night Owl Mama said...

Many blessings and prayers to you Hugs.
I can never imagine the loss you feel right now. I found you through another blogger that posted Jane was here on her blog.

See is a beautiful Angel in Gods arms.
Jane was here in Chicago...Thinking of you dear sweet angel may you rest in peace and watch over your mommy as she thinks of you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. Jane was here in Missouri. You are so strong. Jane was so lucky to have you for her Momma.

FrancesC said...

Jane was here in New Delhi, too. You are all loved.

FrancesC (TT)

Esther said...

Jane was here in Portland.

I know she'll always be here with me.

And she'll always be here with all of us who were touched by her during her too short life.

artandsoul said...

Tia -
My mother's heart breaks, as mother's hearts do, over and over not only for my own children but for others as well.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this amazing journey. And letting me come to love Our Girl Jane.

Cindy

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in North Carolina. Thank you for sharing her with us. You showed us, the invisible readers, such generosity in letting us in.

Please know that Jane was HERE, in my heart, and I am forever grateful for that. Jane taught me how to pray, truly pray. What an amazing gift she gave to a stranger.

You are all in my prayers now. I pray for peace and love to surround you all. I pray that you will always be able to find Janes's spirit when you need it most. Jane is HERE.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here, in India.

-TT Imogen

Anonymous said...

Jane was here in Detroit.

Jane's life was short, but full of blessings. The blessing of unconditional parental love. The blessing of her big sister's adoration. The blessing of her mother's milk. The blessing of her father's warmth. The blessings of the silent hopes of all who checked in on her here day after day.

You were exactly the family she needed, and you gave her a blessed life. Thank you for sharing Jane's amazing strength with us.

Drew

Anonymous said...

Jane was here.

Alison B said...

Jane was here in Washington, and I will carry her memory with me around the world.

Jane was here, and she was loved.

Alison/Alia, The Moosh, and Phoebe

Amber said...

She was here, Our Girl Jane, and here she will remain.

I have little boy who I know is showing her the ropes where she is now. He has been there for 18 months already, was born 3 days shy of a year before her. Should know his way around by now...

Feeling it all--you and your family and your loss--very deeply. Wishing you all solace.

Apple Momma said...

Tia,

I do not know you, and you do not know me. But my heart goes out to you and your family. I cannot tell you how very sorry I am the you lost your beautiful Jane.

I truly hope that God will grant you peace in knowing you will see your precious girl again one day.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

JANE WAS HERE! And she is THERE. In HEAVEN...happy,healthy and having a wonderful time. She is waiting for you and you will see her again! It will be a long time from now, but to her it will seem like the blink of an eye.
God Bless you all!

Anonymous said...

Jane was here. I will always remember your beautiful little Jane and your wonderful family. As an ICN nurse, your sweet Jane, your family, and your beautiful blog have taught me so much. I hope to be a better nurse because of you all and because of your Jane.

Anonymous said...

God bless your little girl Jane, I was just made aware of your blog and read the entire story in one sitting. Jane is such a perfect beautiful child, angel that will watch over all of you in heaven. You and your family are such strong amazing people, you will remain in my prayers.It took so much courage to do what you did.
God Bless.
Samantha from Chicago

Anonymous said...

Jane is HERE and she is with God too. She is free of pain and suffering - she is an angel watching over all of us.

My prayers are with you and her whole family right now.

Anonymous said...

Jane was here in Toronto, Canada. My friends and I will never forget the care and devotion you gave her in her short life. Love from Ben's Grandma Cathy.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tia and family,

I did not know Jane, or any of you, but my heart goes out to you. I wish I could have known your beautiful, beautiful Jane.

Jane was here.

Sandy in Wyoming