Tom made the drive down today, and we finally got to meet the illustrious Dr LR (formerly known as Dr Boston). He's an impressive guy. Smart, thoughtful, straightforward, dedicated. My first impression of him was excellent; I wish I could say the same about our first conversation.
It was not a happy talk, invisible readers. It wasn't ALL doom and gloom, but the rays of sunshine were pretty thin amongst a lot of dark clouds. He talked to us for about an hour (maybe? probably less, but it felt like an hour) about Jane and her prospects. Tom's takeaway was that there are still reasons to be hopeful about Jane. My takeaway? He was laying some thoughtful groundwork for a (potential) difficult conversation in the future.
Jane's got a lot of hurdles to jump before Dr LR will truly feel encouraged. The first one, the big one this week, is getting off the paralytic. I know, I know, Jane was taken off it yesterday afternoon. And then she went back on at three o'clock in the morning. Aaand then she was taken off at noon today. (As of 9:30 pm she was still off.) She's just having a hard time keeping her saturation levels up without it. Simply put, she's got to be able to do that for herself. Dr LR would like to see her off the paralytic in the next couple of days, or in his view it becomes a quality of life issue. QUALITY OF LIFE. He used that phrase not infrequently during our little face to face.
I hate that whatever happened last week (the pneumonia or virus or infection or whatever the hell was going on) happened. They're seeing her at just about the worst she's been. He was talking about how important it's going to be that we read her cues to figure out what she's trying to tell us, whether that be "I'm tired, I've done all I can." or "I've still got fight in me." And I'm sorry but I'm just not there. I know part of his job is to pave the way for us to deal with that kind of thing but WE'RE NOT THERE. JANE IS NOT THERE.
Invisible readers, friends of Jane, it is once again time to light the smudge sticks, fire up the candles, send out prayers and good thoughts and positive energy, and enlist the angels and saints and spirit guides, to help put our girl's feet back on the road home. VIBE ON.