Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Unsettling

Invisible readers, my head is awhirl. EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT HERE. They do things so differently down here -- from bagging Jane when she "desats" to 85 to keeping track of the numbers of bottles they give me for pumping. The whole spectrum of experience is completely other. It's been a bit of a rough adjustment for me, to be honest.

I'm not the only one having trouble with the change. Our girl's been having a tough time settling into this new environment. Is it the stress of the change? Is it a worsening of the BPD? Or is she dealing with something new? Aaaaand the answer is C! Something new! A little something we like to call... PNEUMONIA.

Oh, fer Chrissakes. Seriously? Yeah, seriously.

She's probably been brewing it for a while, but it has raised its unwelcome head now, and these new docs are pretty certain that that's what's been going on these last 30 hours. They're getting ready to put a central line in RIGHT NOW to give them better access and allow them to administer drugs more quickly, etc. Tom talked to the nurse and she was all, "Jane's very sick," and he talked to the surgeon (who will place the line) who was all, "Oh, she's totally stable. Yes, she's very sick, but she's totally stable." 100% oxygen + pressure support like we've scarcely seen before + pneumonia = stable? That's some weird math.

Okey-dokey, then. Pneumonia. Well, to be honest, it was pretty much just a matter of time before she really got it. As you may recall, she's had pneumonia scares in the past, but it's been quite a long while. So now it's really come.

What next, Boston? WHAT NEXT?

6 comments:

Cindy said...

Oferheavensake! I should say "unsettling" -- that's a NICE way to put it all!

Hugs, Tia, and stay strong. (Like you have any choice, right?) But know that a whole new scene is going to be ... a whole new scene. And new eyes on Our Girl Jane may feel very strange and invasive at first, but maybe that's what's needed.

New eyes, new plans, new fixing baby quickly.

*sigh* I'm sorry that you're going through all this. I'm sure it's majorly hard on you. Rough. Unsettling. Confusing.

But she sure looks adorable in that photo. She doesn't look very sick and she looks like she's sleeping peacefully. What do I know?

Sending you peaceful vibes and prayers for good information and signs of progress very soon!!

Cindy

mommatosena said...

Oh fer goodness sake!! Tia I can't imagine how weird this all must feel for you but I totally agree with Cindy on this....new eyes..fix baby quickly...and I think we all have known that Jane is sick...but we also know Jane and where she is headed...they will get to know that too...and if I am not mistaken a central line will really make admin easier and more comfortable in the long run...this all has got to feel like being picked up but a twister...know that you are being flooded with prayer for healing and health! She is precious in that pic stay focused on the sweetness.

R said...

Pneumonia? Really? What the hell, universe?!?!?! How craptastic.

Sheila Peuchaud said...

Damn. Healing vibes to Jane, and strength and peace to you!

Laura Herbert said...

Oh Tia - I'm so sorry to hear about Jane's pneumonia. She just can't catch a break. Reading your blog brought back so many memories of our experience in Boston...we felt exactly the same way. I'm not sure we ever got used to their NICU. They do things so differently and the entire feel of the place is foreign. I remember feeling very lonely in Boston because there were no familiar faces anywhere. Despite it all, we did feel like the doctors were extremely professional and followed excellent treatment plans for Caitlin. I hope that you have the same experience with Jane's care. It always made me feel better to remember that they often see kids like ours and Boston knows how to treat them better than anywhere else. Please know that we are all thinking of you and although there aren't any familiar faces in Boston, we are with you in spirit! I just know that Jane is going to turn a corner and thrive in Boston!

Annie Joyce-Brandt said...

Tia
What a beautiful babe! My thoughts are with you! Let me know if I can help you out.